Choosing to be the Victim

This week I have been inspired by Bonnie D.Stroir's blog. The message was simple. 

Be your own hero. 

The line is used in Whip It! which kind of makes it feel a little trite these days, but really, it's a complete philosophy of exactly what we do.  Now, Bonnie goes on to talk about how she is anti-roller-derby-hero-worship, and I think that's fine for her, but is obviously not for me.  Up until now I have been pretty good, but I do of course have many not-so-odd moments of rage, or annoyance, or whatever you want to call it, about my injury.  I've used it as an excuse to get out of doing things I don't want to do, including neglecting my exercise and food regiment, and my league.  Which is, honestly, crazy.  I've worked so hard in both of those areas that I am stunned that I let myself away with so much.  But I suppose that goes back to my previous entry about the feeling of being down and injured as not unlike those of being down and depressed.  And, honestly, if it was someone else, I would probably think less of them for being as negative as I've been.  Of course, I am extremely careful to only be negative around the right people, namely myself and my Mum. 

What I'm getting at is that I've chosen to be the victim, when really, I have been dealt a card that I just have to play (shout-out, CARD).  It's a whole lot easier to be this chipper about it at the moment.  Going back to working has given me a sense of purpose I've been completely lacking in the past month.  Plus the package from Five Stride really boosted, well, everything.  It's a lot easier to not eat something when as soon as I think of food I think of Bonnie Thunders and what she would eat, or not eat, or her girlfriend and aim for both of them.  Which is kind of crazy, because I am not built like either of them, but hey, I'm motivatin' here!  I really want to meet her in March and impress her with my willingness to get back on skates, and not only that, to fly across the world to prove it to her.  And myself, of course, but to prove it to her, how could she not want me as a Gotham Girls All-Star in the future?  I was also influenced by something I read on a RMRG blog - it was something like "I can eat this food in secret, but the pounds will stay on my body for all to see".  It's a little bit crazy, but crazy works for me.  Good-bye, ice cream binges!

I'm off to a bout tonight.  Of course.  It's Penergy!'s last as a Brisbane City Roller, so it's pretty momentus, it marks her evolution from small-time skater to playing with the Big Kids!  Oh, I'm so jealous, but so excited, and I know that as soon as I am healed, I am not far behind.  So here's today's meal plans.  Exercise is Extreme Crutching.  I know that's lazy, but it's better than nothin'.

Breakfast: Protein smoothie and coffee
Lunch: mixed nuts, pb on rye, serving of frozen peas - a bit of a throw-together when I was half-way out the door, but it's travel-safe cripple food, and really, there's not much wrong with that line-up, it's like 3 mini-meals eaten at once
Dinner: Salad w salmon (yes, I am packing dinner to take to the Gold Coast so I don't end up with another joy-free burger debacle!)
Snack: Apple

Penergy! has also packed us Red Bulls.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to need one.  People should really not spend all night watching bouts online then drive far away, late, to watch them live the next night!  Oh, oh well. 

PS: 2 sleeps till doctor!  I'm having trouble planning for the worst, but it *might* happen.  I'm also going to beg him to let me go to the gym so I don't have to buy weights!  I've been doing push-ups and dips for arms but, seriously, it's like living on bread and water, and just as effective. 

PPS: This time next week I will be a bride!  I had better plan to bring stuff so I don't overindulge in Chrissy treats!